How the Four Agreements of Life Can Improve Your Wellbeing

The Four Agreements of Life

Every day we make a lot of external commitments with our family, friends, and people around us. Internal agreements that we make with ourselves are a powerful way to improve our quality of life and relationships. The four agreements of life were first introduced by Don Miguel Ruiz and Janet Mills to provide a practice guide to personal freedom.

The four agreements

Agreement 1: Be Impeccable With Your Word

The first agreement is the most important and also the most difficult one to honor. Being impeccable with language means to be truthful, take responsibility for our actions, and remain nonjudgmental with ourselves and others. In essence, this agreement focuses on the significance of speaking with integrity and carefully choosing words before saying them aloud.

Agreement 2: Don’t Take Anything Personally

The second agreement provides us with a way to deal with harmful treatment from others. It advocates the importance of a strong sense of self.  Not needing to rely on the opinions of others in order to be satisfied with our own self-image. This agreement also allows us to understand that each individual has a unique worldview that differs from our own and that the actions and beliefs of a person are a projection of their own personal reality. Whatever others may do says more about them than it does about you.

Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions

The third agreement describes the issue of making assumptions, how it leads to suffering, and why we should not make them. When we assume what others think, it can create stress and interpersonal conflict because we believe that our assumption is a representation of the truth, when in reality it may be nowhere near true. The skillful alternative is to ask questions of the other person and ensure that the communication is clear between you. We can avoid misunderstandings, getting hurt, and drama by not making assumptions.

Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best

The fourth agreement allows us to have a better insight into achieving our goals in life. This agreement entails integrating the first three agreements into daily life and also living our life to its full potential. It involves doing the best that we can manage, which varies with the different situations we may encounter. When we do our best in a given moment, we are able to avoid self-judgment and regret. 


Don't take things personally


The four agreements are a starting point for improving your well-being. Discovering your values, practicing mindfulness, and developing authentic relationships can also greatly improve your path to happiness. 


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